FIGHTING BACK.

So I  have found out that most times, people who  have facades such as being aggressive, nonchalant, saucy, servile, you name it usually have one demon or the other they are fighting from the past!
Today, we are going to see what  past Halima is fighting.

My name is Halima, I'm 19 years old and from Kenya. In my culture, once a baby girl is born, she is circumcised. I have heard about the different forms of circumcision for girls but think the one my community does is the worst.
My clitoris was removed,the major and the minor labia was removed and then sewn up,so the only thing remaining was the urethra and the vagina. According to them, it is to curb promiscuity.

I never thought it anything growing up because every girl in my. Community got it. So, some ten years ago, there was this community clash that led to a massive massacre, we had to flee our village my mum,brother and little sister unfortunately my father didn't make it,he was butchered. We trekked into Ethiopia. We lived in refugees camp until this opportunity from the UN came for refugees going oversea to seek asylum and so I came to the USA when I was 12 with my family.
And ever since I have tried to become someone else because I came to know what female genitalia mutilation was all about,I started wearing this facade because I was ashamed, bitter at my parents for taking this part of me that I would never regain back. I would never know what pleasure comes from that part of a woman's anatomy. Living in a civilised world only made  me self conscious.

I became aggressive and nosy;that was the persona I built for my self. I felt I had to defend every word thrown at me with a sarcastic jab, in that way no one could hurt me again and by doing so I could take control of my life but inwards I was scared, scared and hope less. Indeed, I succeeded in wearing that mask for the next seven years. My friends thought I was a smart ass bitch and so I lived up to it until.............


I entered a competition for models and had to live with these different girls from different background and family  values. I never fit in. I struggled with my facade and that got me in trouble with the girls all the time,but I couldn't tell anyone my story. I gave up on my self and I gave trying to be better.  Tisha, a fellow model came to me and broke through my walls, she talked to me about herself and this is what she said:

I'm a black girl who grew up in the hood and I being through a lot myself, my father was serving a 21 year sentence for murder, my mother was on always in and out of rehab due to drugs,so practically I was on my own. I had to turn to the street because that was the only means of survival that I know. I did stuff  that right now am ashamed of. I was brutally abused, raped and used yet I was determined to crawl out of that awful life and make something better for myself, so I refused to allow anyone or anything box me into a shell. I had my down times,but I refuse to it defeat me. I went online and learnt about new opportunities I could fit in.

I could go on and on but for now it is not really about me but you. You have to make that important decision and take that step to turn your story around because you can't go back  to the past but you can create a future that won't help only but others.

Ever since I  decided I was going to start talking about the ills of female genital mutilation. I looked for organisation that I could partner with in this.
This is me fighting back. What about you??????